Last night my granddaughter came for a sleep-over. She is fourteen and I have been promising her sleep-overs since I moved to my new home in November. Circumstances have prevented this, including a two month absence to care for my cousin, in Scotland.
That visit ended sadly but I was there at the end, which is all I could really do. I sat and cried for a while but then decided that this is not what she would have wanted me to do. There has been too much sadness in my recent past so I am determined to try and move on.
This past week I made a conscious effort to get my house in order. Returning from Scotland to blue skies and sunshine gave me the impetus to get some things done, around the house and in my life.
First off, a little bit of painting to make my fireplace wall into a bit of a feature, looks good and modern. Next, sew the curtains that I made a start on in November, then lost the will to finish the job. Curtains sewn and hung and look really nice, gives the place a more finished look, much cosier than a window with just a white blind.
Next job was putting my papers in order. The purchase of the apartment and the changing of ownership of utilities and services, new bank accounts and payments that I am now solely responsible for, created tons of paperwork. This I have been storing in the “bottom drawer”. Everyone needs a bottom drawer to shove “important” stuff into but in a few short months, mine was a mess.
After the nightmare I faced with sorting out my cousins many years of paperwork, I knew that I needed a system. When it is my turn to leave this mortal coil, I do not want my daughters to have to face the years of confusion that my cousin had left behind.
It took a whole day to make a filing system, naming files for each account that needed monthly or yearly attention. This job had to be done standing at the kitchen island as this is the only place big enough to spread out the documents that contain my life.
How can I possible be responsible for all these different accounts? It is unbelievable how many services it needs to run a home, not just bank accounts but credit cards, utilities, insurance, car and so many other little details that we do not think of until payment is due.
The job took most of the day and lots of breaks for coffee, when I was finished I was exhausted and sweaty but really felt that I had got my house in order. Now if only I could keep my emotions and thoughts in a file box to be brought out as needed but my mind is still like the bottom drawer all sorts of thoughts, regrets and unpredictable emotions stuffed in there in an unmanageable confusion. Tears come over the silliest things and betray me in stores and other places.
With time maybe I can get my thoughts and feelings into a twelve by eighteen box and only take them out to look at, when I feel it is necessary. Meanwhile I am determined to move on and make a new life. As I said, I really mean to feather my nest and get my house in order.
The last thing I needed to do to make my home was the soft furnishings, the very sort furnishings, the sort that make you feel good about yourself and about life. I have my little dog who gets me out for exercise and socialising and the only thing missing was a cat. I truly believe that a house is not a home until there is a sleepy cat curled up on the best set in the house.
Last Sunday, Grand-daughter and I went to Paws and Claws, rescue centre and picked out a six week old kitten. Yesterday, Valentine’s Day and also the birthday of my dear cousin, we brought our new baby home. She has been named Buttons and is a pretty tabby and white female.
My granddaughter stayed overnight for the long promised sleep-over and the kitten was loved, cuddled and thoroughly spoiled. Daisy the dog is very curious about the new edition and I hope it is not long till they will be the best of friends.
I felt that now I have my house in order until I remembered that I have a teenager in the house, requiring breakfast. I shopped for cat food, litter, toys and all that is necessary to welcome a cat into the home. Unfortunately I completely forgot the needs of my human visitor.
I have no cereal, milk, breakfast meats, bread and no flour to make pancakes or waffles, which used to be my go to breakfast for visiting grandkids. Two cups of coffee is my usual breakfast, but not to be recommended for a fourteen year old, so I guess we will be going to Smitty’s for waffles.
What sort of Grandma forgets to provide for a child? The sort that has been through a huge turmoil, had her life turned upside down and is just coming through the other side of the problems, that’s who. I may have forgotten the basics but I will eventually get it all together and get all my thoughts into some sort of order so I can eventually keep track of my life.