Prompt: If it rained food what would you want the forecast to look like.
“It’s bad enough when it rains water. Who wants food?” Tom looked at the sky and glowered.
“Anyone who’s hungry, I guess,” replied Bill, Tom’s friend and fellow curmudgeon. They were sitting on Tom’s porch, a careful two metres between them, drinking lemonade with a shot of vodka. What Tom’s wife didn’t know wouldn’t kill her. And it cheered up Tom and Bill.
“No need to be hungry in this country.” Tom was starting to rant. “Only hungry people here are lazy people. And if you gave them food—from the skies, no less—they probably wouldn’t know how to cook it anyway.” Now he was waving his arms around, his display of total disgust.
Bill looked thoughtful. “Yeah. And if it rained food, would it be one food? Like steak falling everywhere? Or could you gather up a whole meal, three veg and potatoes, say?” “I don’t know. The whole idea is stupid. And if it rained steak, can you imagine what the place would smell like in a coupla days? And the stray dogs that would be all over the yard?”
Tom was getting angrier. The enforced isolation, staying at home with just his wife was wearing on him. He did not like to admit it, but he was in fact a very social person.
Tom and Bill had been friends forever. Tom’s feisty aggression was well matched by Bill’s quiet acceptance of the world. They appeared to be totally misfit, but somehow they worked, as best chums. Tom’s wife was very glad about that.
“And for sure there would be no veg,” muttered Tom. “But it would serve all those hoarders right if it rained peas. There hasn’t been a sighting of the Friendly Giant in my store for weeks now. Say peas fell like hail stones, already frozen and we could just go pick up whatever we wanted. The hoarders would go nuts, trying to rake them all up before anyone else could get them.” He smiled thinly. The vodka was having its effect.
“Yeah,” said Bill. “Peas would be good. Perhaps the best food of all to be falling from the sky.”
“Because then peas rains.” He smiled at Tom. “Get it?”