Archives for December 8, 2018
Oh, thank you, I really want to
So I’ll pencil you in, yes
And if you’ll check back?
I really, really want to
But others could…. and
And sometimes they do.
What would I say to them if
If I gave my ‘yes’ to you?
To insure that we stay a good fit
My ‘no’ could put you off a bit
I do, I really want to go
And will say anything to you but ‘no’
In case the others… you know
Today is our big day to meet
It is going to be so oh so sweet
Oh, you’ve got a better date?
I’ll just join the others then, I’ll tweet
But no, they’re all at home, at home tonight
The ‘no’ I could not give to any
Came back to me from many
No… they’re home alone tonight
My yes preserved
Just sitting here with no invite
And so am I
It’s that time of year again when we get inundated with ads for Christmas Gifts. Put on the television, pick up a magazine or pass any billboard and there they are, the pouting models advertising anything from waffle irons to expensive perfume.
I don’t know about you but I have rarely seen anyone pout in real life except sulky children. Where do they get them, those underfed, sad eyed, slinky people who manage to stick out their bottom lip so far that you could probably use it to sit your “elf on a shelf”. The bottom lip is the most important part of the look but you also need to be willing to dress, or undress for the part. Women seem to manage to wear a drape of gold lame, that exposes more than it covers, a huge amount of expensive jewellery and a pair of very high heels, they slink across the room, dropping off the earrings as a promise of better things to come.
This apparently makes husbands run out and purchase a minute vial of the expensive potion that will turn their wife into a siren. The only problem is that most wives are not vixens, they are hard working women who dress modestly, do not own a gold lame drape and have one good party dress, which they accessorize with costume jewellery, any diamonds she owns are usually tiny and are kept on her ring finger.
Since saying “I do” there has been no money for such luxuries as any spare cash goes for new shoes for the children or the car needs some expensive repair. Most women do not really expect an expensive gift, she may dream but is not really disappointed if the earrings she gets are pretty but inexpensive. However, this does not mean that she wants just any old gift that has been purchased at the last minute, haphazardly wrapped and is not in the least romantic. Woe to the husband who buys his wife an iron! She may badly need the new appliance but not as a gift, some little trinket will win many more brownie points than a top of the line household need.
However, it is not just women who are targeted in the ads, the male version is a mid-twenties, dusky looking hunk with a days’ growth of beard, he is usually stripped to the waist, exposing his fabulous abs without an inch of spare flesh. Trouble is, if you save up to buy the magical formula which will turn your reliable, hard working but slightly overweight hubby into this Adonis, it will not fulfill it’s promise, he will be the same guy but will smell more exotic. Most guys are slow to warm up to change so, chances are, he will not like the new smell and go back to his Aramis or Old Spice. The expensive cologne will sit on the shelf and look pretty.
We can all dream about an exotic life, where the clothes hamper never overflows, dishes never linger in the sink and dressing up for expensive nights on the town are a regular occurrence. However, this is not reality for most of us but doing the dishes together, getting the kids to bed early and enjoying a glass of wine, in front of the fire is exotic enough for most of us.