Archives for July 2, 2017
Shawna Michaud at the fireworks
Did you miss it
Kids seem to learn right from the cradle that the best way to get you own way is to manipulate your parents by the age old trick of Divide and Conquer.
Our four daughters soon cottoned on to the fact that dad was a really easy target and mom was the enemy. Little girls soon learn that dads just cannot cope with tears and at the first sight of a trembling bottom lip, dad will cave in.
SCENE ONE..This was a regular conversation in our house………
Child..mom can I go out to the movies? Mom..not on a school night
Child..awe, everyone else is going. Mom…sorry but you aren’t.
Child..it’s not fair, I’m the only one who will not see the film. Mom..tough
Child..why can’t I go? Mom…because you do not go out on school nights.
Child..but why not? Mom..because I said so.
Child flounces out, comes back two minutes later and starts again.
Child…dad says I can go if you will let me. Mom..goes to have a wee word with dad.
Child…so can I go? Mom..NO.
Child…but dad says I can. Mom..dad is not here to drag you out of bed at 7.00 am. to get ready for school, so he doesn’t get to say yes. Child…it’s so not fair!
And once again, mother is the spoiler of fun, the miserable person who cares nothing about their child’s happiness, the dragon who doesn’t understand that mine is the only child, for miles around, who will not be going to this movie and so will be left out of the whole group. In fact, mother gets so fed up of the abuse being hurled upon her that she sends the child to bed, confirming the opinion that she really is the meanest mother in the whole town. Mom and dad then have a rather heated discussion on the agreed rules of the house that dad conveniently forgot when confronted by his trembling lipped daughter.
This moves mom’s status to also being a miserable wife as well as a mean mother, for some reason she then takes herself to bed, in a bit of a snit. Dad doesn’t see what he has done wrong and convinces himself that his wife gets upset for nothing, strange woman!
SCENE TWO. Teenage daughter going to the mall with friends.
Dad..have you seen what she is wearing? Mom..yes, why?
Dad..she can’t go out in that short skirt.
Mom..It’s Saturday morning, she is with a group of friends and they are all wearing the same type of clothes.
Dad…But she is almost showing her knickers.
Mom…they are going to the mall, will be home before dinner and she will be perfectly safe.
Dad…I do not want her to go out in that short skirt. Mom..then tell her that.
Dad….slinks off muttering and says nothing about the short skirt. Apparently it is great for me to play the dragon, but not his cup of tea.
Parenting is a difficult job. We do not get any training for it but have to go with our gut instinct, and try to find the balance of giving our children enough freedom while hoping that the lessons you have tried to teach them, have sunk in and will be remembered.
Now that all our daughters are parents themselves, they are in the same position of playing bad cop/good cop. If you are the parent who always has to be the bad cop, it is a hard role to play. How much easier to just give in and be a “good” mom, but personally, I think to be a really good mom, you have to be part dragon.
So much easier being a grandma, when I get asked for a particular treat, I always say “ask mom first”. Let her be the dragon, My fire breathing days are over!
From: Terry and Kay Roth (Ronin and Ragtime)
As dog owners who use the enclosed ball diamond’s area on a regular basis – almost every day, and , as people who value and appreciate the opportunity to utilize that area of the park, we have some comments and a few questions.
First of all we agree that there are a few dog owners who fail to pick up after their woofers. Sometimes this is due no doubt to socializing with other dog owners, or being on the phone, and engaging attention on their conversations and neglecting to pay attention to their pets. Others – may simply not care and don’t bother to pick up, even if they know what their dog has deposited. An article in the Chronicle, quoted someone as saying dog poo is “all over” the enclosed area of the two ball diamonds. From our observation, in walking our dogs , there are a few poo piles and remnants to be found, but “all over” does not seem to be an accurate description. And like some others who walk dogs there, we pick up more than our dogs leave behind. Still, one can find, if you are looking, some poop which has been overlooked. Responsible dog owners do try to confront and get after those who don’t pick up. After all, we are the ones who lose in the long run.
One of our concerns has been that we dog owners, I am told, are soon to be evicted with our woofers from the enclosed area and shunted over to an area in Lion’s Park. This seems a little odd to me in that those two enclosed ball diamonds find regular use only during the month of the baseball camps. At other times, I’ve noticed that use of that area is only sporadic; whereas we dog owners use that area EVERY DAY. And non of us would begrudge – or has begrudged – keeping out during the time of baseball camp, or when we find the diamonds in use. (which is infrequent.) WE USE THE AREA ALL THE YEAR AROUND. Why is it necessary to evict us permanently when we utilize the enclosed area ALL YEAR ; while the two enclosed ball diamonds are used so little?
As far as the Lion’s Park designated doggie area is concerned we have yet to know much about its parameters.etc. The Town of Oliver will only solve part of the problem they perceive: the problem of loose workers’ dogs. But what we can know is that during the summer few of us Oliverite pet owners will take our dogs there. During the summer, that area will be not very “friendly” to our dogs; especially the small ones. That area already at present hosts many dogs with questionable inoculation histories. Also doggie intimidation would not come as a big surprise as most of the “guest dogs” are large ones, Again, especially for small dogs, which many of us have.
Many of us Oliver dog-owners are “older” citizens and to tell the truth, feel intimidated by so many younger people hanging out in Lion’s Park and not all of us speak French in order to communicate. (and believe me we are not that easy to intimidate!) One might say “nonsense!” but just talk to a few people. Dog park or not, I guess we just give that park over to our summer guests and let them enjoy it for the duration.
Has any one come around and asked the local dog owners (users of the current dog park) how they feel or if they have any ideas?
Has anyone contacted the local vets to get their opinions on un-innoculated animals or possible dog aggression?
Many of our older folks can walk to our park now but probably won’t make it to Lion’s park – who’s speaking for them?
Doe our park not belong to all the people of Oliver – dog owners also? Guests are here on a temporary basis.
People from out of town have commented positively about our enclosed dog area. Dog owners in Oliver are very appreciative of what we have. Don’t tar us all with the same brush. Dog owners would also like to get rid of the “bagless,- scoop-less – eyeless” owners.
Come on dog owners – let’s hear from a few of you!